


Everything

by sapphire_child



Series: Season 12 Bits [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester are totally married pass it on, Chuck is God, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, God and John Winchester's A+ parenting, Post-Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, not quite hand holding, talking about feelings in the Impala
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire_child/pseuds/sapphire_child
Summary: At the beginning of 12x01 Dean promised to tell Cas everything. Here's the missing scene in the Impala where he actually does just that. Including Cas finally talking about why he didn't bother talking to Chuck, lots of awkward glances, and a handful of genuine, gentle moments between Cas and Dean.





	

Dean had promised he’d tell Cas everything, but with Sam missing and the British Men of Letters trumping them at every turn things have gotten messy fast.

It seems to be the way their lives go. There never seems to be enough time to just pause and breathe and debrief properly before the next thing comes up to bite them in the ass.

The adrenaline of the hunt for Sam has kept Mary going all day, but after she stabbed the lackey who was sent after them she goes back into shock. Cas’ grace can still heal concussions and light contusions easily (“Neat trick.” Mary says, a little awed, touching her temple lightly after he heals the wound there. “You must be pretty handy to have on hunts.”) but when she pales up and starts trembling in earnest they make an executive decision to get her back to the bunker.

“You both need to rest.” Cas argues when Dean inevitably begins to protest that once his mom is home he’s going to drive out and keep looking for leads. “I can head out tonight and begin the search for Sam while you get your four hours, if I find anything I’ll call you.”

Mary tilts her head quizzically between them. “Four hours?” she asks and Dean rushes to cover that one over. His mom doesn’t need to know how messed up he is just yet.

“Yeah okay, but are you sure you don’t need to recoup as well man? I mean, that Brit chick did a hell of a number on you. Plus, you know…recent events.”

Cas gives him a withering look. “I’m fine. I’ll replenish my grace on the drive back to the bunker.”

And that is that. They pile into the Impala. Mary lapses in and out of sleep as they cover the miles that lead back to Lebanon, silent for the most part. Cas is similarly quiet. He wasn’t pleased when Dean insisted on driving the whole way, but he accepted it nonetheless.

They’ve been on the road for about an hour, interrupted only by Dean occasionally craning his head to look back at his mom, when Cas finally speaks.

“Are you going to tell me?”

Instinctively, Dean glances back at his mother. Castiel is inscrutable.

“Your mother is sleeping. For now at least.”

“She already kind of knows anyway.” Dean mutters, though he’s not sure exactly why he’s getting precious about this. “I mean, she turned up just after everything else went down so.”

“So.” Cas echoes and Dean’s babbling ceases. “Are you going to tell me ‘what went down’?”

Dean almost says no, he’d rather wait until they have Sam back so he doesn’t have to repeat himself. But at this stage he doesn’t know just how big a rescue mission this is gonna be, and with all the crap that Cas has been through recently he kind of deserves to know what happened to the Darkness. And to God.

He sighs heavily.

“Well.” Dean begins. “The soul bomb was a bust.” He pauses, suddenly feeling unreasonably weary, but takes a breath and powers on through regardless. “Amara knew it was a suicide mission the second I got there. So we just…started talking. I figured, maybe, if she and Chuck just tried to properly hash things out then maybe we might get somewhere.”

Cas regards him from the passenger seat. “She summoned Chuck to you.”

Dean nods.

“Yeah. They had a few D and M’s. I mean, I can understand why Amara was pissed off at him. Really, she was just jealous that he made himself a bunch of shiny new toys to play with, and she was kind of left playing second banana to the new baby. Y’know?”

“Not really.” Cas says dryly. “But I think I can grasp enough of the metaphor.”

Dean rolls his eyes minutely, but the gesture is fond. “So anyway. They made up. Amara healed him or, I dunno, fixed up whatever she messed up and then I guess they figured they’d go off and have some sibling bonding time or something. Chuck took the soul bomb out of me and the sun had stopped exploding so they flapped off into the sunset together.”

Castiel nods, giving a short, sideways glance before squinting out the windshield.

“And your mother?”

The lump in Dean’s throat is not entirely unexpected. Neither are the tears which spring to life, prickling irritably at the corners of his eyes.

He clears his throat roughly, not sure he’ll be able to speak without his voice wavering otherwise.

“Amara wanted to thank me for…patching things up between her and Chuck I guess. She told me-” he pauses and clears his throat again. “She said that I helped give her what she truly needed, and that she wanted to return the favour. Next thing I know, mom turns up in the nightgown she died in and...”

Dean chokes to a stop and then there’s a hand gently pressing over the top of his. He’s spent most of the ride with his hand resting on the seat between them and thought nothing of it. Now he glances over, startled, and is met with a surprisingly soft gaze from the angel.

“I’m happy for you.” Cas rumbles, sincere as anything. “I know how…big a deal this is for you and your brother.”

“Understatement.” Dean mutters, half chuckling. He breaks eye contact, ostensibly so he can glance at the road. Mainly in the hopes that Cas will get the hint and take his hand away. It’s not the most intimate gesture they’ve shared, but something about Cas gently touching his hand across the front seat of the Impala is just way too much today. Jeez, next thing he’ll be patting it or, god forbid, he might even _squeeze_ it and nope. Nope. Dean clears his throat and his hand clenches, almost involuntarily.

Cas pauses for a moment, possibly sensing the awkwardness. He gives a brief squeeze ( _Jesus hell_ ) and then offers an awkward pat (nope) before withdrawing his hand. Dean clears his throat for the umpteenth time.

“So how were things on your end?” He asks, just for something to say. Cas glances over at him, inscrutable in the dim light. “Did you…I mean did you get a chance to talk to your dad? To Chuck?”

Cas glances at him and gives an honest to god snort of laughter that would have made Dean laugh too if it hadn’t come out quite so bitter. It’s a weirdly human response.

“You were there when he spoke to Lucifer.” Cas tilts his head to look out the window. He is silent for a moment before adding, simply, “There’s nothing my father could have said to me to make me forgive him for the wrongs he’s done to me.”

Which, fair enough. But still.

“So…you didn’t try to talk to him at all?”

Cas merely shrugs.

“I guess the end of the world has a way of sorting out your priorities.” He says glibly. Dean offers him a look and Cas sighs, elaborating with, “When God is dying and the sun is going out, it’s probably not the best time to bring up your abandonment issues with your dad.”

It’s blunt, and brutally honest. And Dean gets it, he does. But he still can’t help but feel disappointed on Cas’ behalf, that he never got a chance to have it out with the big guy. Hell, even Dean got to work out some of his beef with God, but not Cas?

“I guess not.” he agrees quietly.

“And now he’s gone,” Cas almost sounds satisfied, but there’s a hint of disappointment there too. Dean isn’t about to reach out and hold Cas’ hand like a girl or something, but he’s happy to reach out and press a reassuring hand into his shoulder.

Dean feels Cas’ gaze on him, like a weight. He glances over and their eyes meet. The moment hangs, suspended, and understanding stretches between them like pulled taffy.

In the backseat, Mary stretches and stirs. Dean’s hand falls away from Cas’ shoulder immediately.

“Hey mom.” He can’t seem to stop saying it. She just yawns and peers blearily out the windshield.

“How far?” she murmurs.

“A few hours yet.” Dean offers. Then, “You okay?”

After a short hesitation, her response is, “I think I will be.” She shifts her gaze to the window, watching the lights flit past.

Dean can’t quite help himself, he glances back at her more than he should. In the front seat, Cas sits quietly with his hands resting on his legs.

Inanely, Dean wishes that Cas’ hand was still on his.


End file.
